welcome! this is my little corner of the web. a place where humor meets crafting & virtually nonexistent cooking skills. i like to read, bake & take pictures. i rarely use proper capitalization, often swear, and have a weakness for paranormal romance. stick around, i'm good for at least a laugh or two, if not with me than at least at me!

8.28.2014

currently//8.28.14

loving// words. it feels good to be writing them again... now i just need to get back to the reading of them.

loathing// potty training. need i say more?

drinking// coconut iced latte from dunkin. i apparently always type up my currents in the morning, and i'm always drinking coffee.

watching// catching up on the final three episodes of true blood. it's kinda odd to not be shocked when a main character dies... cause you know the end is coming anyways, so like, what does it matter that someone dies when essentially the whole thing is over. i'm delaying watching the season finale.. i'm just sad for it to be over. they got all crazy there the last two seasons, but seriously.. it's been good to the last drop.

listening// i have a couple of favorite songs that i am living for right now.. secrets by mary lambert, cool kids by echosmith, boom clap by charlie xcx & as much as i friggen don't want to admit it... shake it off by taylor swift. the girl is a talented writer/musician, obviously, but something about her kinda rubs me the wrong way...

thinking// about motivation. about pushing out of your comfort zone. about trying and failing. my head is full of motivational quotes. i'm contemplating my 2015 one little word, already. i've breathed my way through 2014, and i'm ready for another action word!



anticipating// fall. oh fall. i am always ready for it, and it never lasts nearly long enough. i just whole heartedly wish for a cool one. please. please please be a 70-degree weather fall, florida.

pinning// halloween inspiration & layout design




8.19.2014

on// comfort zones


excuse me while i put every inspirational/motivational quote i find over this photo i took with my iPhone & edited in #mextures. i'm addicted.

so, i've been really thinking about these two lines:

everything you want is on the other side of fear

&

great things never come from comfort zones

i'm a seriously lover of the comfort zone. i will curl right up with that guy & snuggle down for a good long nap. i like familiar. i like 'known'. the unknown scares the crap outta me, and makes my little libra mind swirl between the pros and the cons.

yes, i'm always the one that says... but... what IF. and usually it's a what IF that leans towards downfall and demise.. what IF i send in my work, and it's not up to snuff? what IF i put myself out there, and am rejected? what IF i do this, and i totally suck?

i think we can all relate to that right?

Elise Blaha Cripe keeps repeating this Amy Poehler quote & i keep thinking it's so spot on for this issue we all seem to have:

“Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you’re afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that – that is what life is. You might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that’s really special and if you’re not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself.” - Amy Poehler 

so, i've been doing my best to embrace this mindset, that failure is part of the process, and that you have to push yourself to a place that makes you squirm to become great. 

which is why i applied for a job i was completely unqualified for, and came out with an internship. and i'm over the moon about it. i saw an ad for a graphic design position at our local city magazine, and took a chance & sent in a portfolio. i was originally set up to go in for an interview, and then the publisher decided they wanted someone with previous experience for the immediate position, and i was offered an internship. 



i was shocked at the prospect of the job, when i really sent in my stuff 'for the hell of it', cause 'you never know'. the praise from the creative director really floored me. i see myself as being of average talent. but his reassurance that i was better than half the experienced graphic designers who send in resumes, floored me. when the chance for the internship came around, i felt the pressure release a bit (because job+school+kids... YIKES!) & was like, this is exactly where i need to be. learning while still keeping the focus on school. & because i read somewhere in all this school stuff that it is wise to intern in the field you are interested in, so when you get out of school you are not going.. 'what do i do now?' 

you'd think i'd have figured out this comfort zones deal by now. years ago, i pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and went to a scrapbooking retreat, where i met three of my now best friends. 

xo-k

8.15.2014

Project Life//2014

i said it before, & i'll probably say it again & again until you're totally tired of hearing it. 
i love project life, and i am IN LOVE with this 6x8 size. 
it's so great to pick my favorite stories, quotes, & pictures & keep going until i hit the next month, without paying attention to a weekly format. 




i made a vellum overlay to separate the end of one month & 
the beginning of another. mostly because i have 4 'month in review' cards
one for each of us... 
& because i just wanted to :) 







nothing really special about any of it. 
almost 100% of the pictures are from my iPhone & edited in pictapgo. 
(the spreads were shot with my nikon, which sounds like it's on it's way out :( ) 

i have this post in mind, about the way we approach scrapbooking... 
but i think i'm going to leave that for another day.. 

xo-k


8.05.2014

#shewasmyoma

I wrote this shortly after my Oma died on April 6th of this year. I read it at her services in May. There's so much more that I wanted to say, so much more that I felt. But I don't think you can ever really capture the entire scope of someone's affect on your life, or their life in general.... right? 

 The year was 1987. I was 8, my brother Rick was 5, and we were quite possibly the only people under 30 who watched reruns of the 1950’s TV show “Dragnet”. Dad was a big Nick at Nite fan, so we were forced to watch reruns of shows like “I Love Lucy”, “I Dream of Jeanie”, & “The Dick Van Dyke” show. I’m pretty sure we complained more than once about being subjected to the horror that was black and white television. It was that year though, that Tom Hanks, and Dan Akroyd took to the big screen as Detective Pep Streebek, and Sgt. Joe Friday, in a movie version of “Dragnet”.  I can remember standing outside the theater on Silver Springs Blvd, with Rick and Oma, looking at the movie posters, and deciding we were going to see the movie remake of “Dragnet”. I remember sitting about 2/3rds of the way back in the theater, Oma sandwiched between Rick and I. The theater had just a few other movie-goers scattered about, which was surprising as it was mid-June, and one would think that it would be full of parents, grandparents, and kids, like us, desperately trying to avoid the summer heat.  
  The lights go down, and the movie begins.  We sit & watch as Dan Akroyd plays the part of our Sgt. Joe Friday.  Now, having seen the movie as an adult, I know that there were some innuendos, and vulgar remarks that flew right over my little 8 year old head, as well as Rick’s, but Oma had to have known what was coming.  Friday, and his sidekick Streebek, walk into a strip club, and front & center screen is a topless dancer, wearing star shaped covers on her breasts. Before I could even process what we were seeing, my innocent little 5 year old brother flies up out of his seat, and yells “OMA! LOOK SHE’S GOT STARS!”.  Oma never flinched; I of course, taking after my dad, was mortified. I yell at Rick to sit down, and can’t believe that it all just happened.
  Back then I was totally embarrassed. Now, it’s one of my favorite stories to tell of our times with Oma. Believe it or not, I found myself in a worse situation with her when I turned 18, and she & Aunt Susan treated me to a movie, where I picked to see “American Beauty”.  If you aren’t familiar with the movie, let me just tell you… I was embarrassed to be seen in public watching the movie, let alone watch it with my grandmother.  She of course, took it in stride.
  But that’s what was so great about Oma. Nothing really about her was ordinary or traditional. Some grandmother’s bake you cookies, and read you books, she rented convertibles and drove fast with the top down, and always made you eat something green with every meal. I can’t tell you how many leaves of romaine lettuce I gagged through eating dinner at her house, but I can tell you that lemon pepper doesn’t mask the bitterness, greek seasoning does, and Oma’s chocolate stash is always worth getting down the green stuff for. Oma loved her sweets, and she was always ready to share. Rick and I were fortunate to suffer through many of those kinds of green-laden dinners with Oma throughout the years, with both mom and dad working night shifts.
 If I had to pick a word to describe Oma, it would have to be extraordinary. She was easily the first person I ever found myself fascinated with.  She kept little gemstone crystals on her nightstand, and rubbed apricot cuticle cream on her fingers every night. She had a bottle of regular Listerine in the front seat of her car at all times, and I don’t think she knew the radio went had an FM, because it never switched from AM, and it was ALWAYS playing opera music. She taught Rick & I how to play rummy, and then spent hours playing with us on her back porch when we were kids. She took a photography class at the community college, and took a picture of Rick, Mikey, Stevie, Lisa & I jumping into a pool, It is, to this day, my most favorite picture of my childhood. The point is, she was just the kind of grandmother who never stopped surprising you as a kid, and also one that wasn’t afraid to call you on your crap.
  And her heart. I sometimes wonder if her heart didn’t give out, from the sheer amount of love she carried around in it. The love for her family, present and gone, love of music, love of chocolate, love of Seminole football, love of children, love of animals, love of charities, love of McDonald’s Frappe’s, love of nature, love of watermelon, love of angels, love of hope, love of love, love of chocolate… yes that’s chocolate twice, but if you knew Oma, you knew the love of chocolate was a BIG LOVE. Godiva, Russell Stovers, Hershey’s, it mattered not to her if it was the gourmet stuff, or the drugstore variety.
  I think that’s the most important thing Oma instilled in me. Not just in chocolate, but in people. That people are people no matter their race, gender, upbringing, or perceived handicap. She always routed for the underdog, always made it her duty to lift them up. To fight for them. To SEE them, and let them know that they were SEEN.


And I say all this because somewhere out there, she is listening, and I want her to know that she was SEEN. I saw her. I loved her. She was my Oma.

7.28.2014

Project Life//2014

before i get into the whole project life thing.. i just wanted to vent?

share?

type away endlessly & dump my brain? ya. maybe that's a better description.

i've been blogging since 2006. that's 8 years. not consistently by any means. but that's a lot of blogging. i've run the gambit of blogging material... random thoughts, notes to my kids, vacation recaps, recipes, crafts, movie suggestions, scrapbooking, you name it.

i'm not short on words. i never really have been. blogging was always therapeutic in a way. i'm not afraid to announce my shortcomings. i'm not proud of them, but acknowledging them out loud has always helped me find some sort of accountability to myself. i'm not afraid to talk about the bad stuff. it's life. i don't need anyone to think i live it a castle in the clouds. i'm down here in the trenches just like the rest of you.

but somewhere, somehow, along the way, i lost my voice. i fell out of love with blogging. i'm almost certain it's when i tried to turn myself into a "crafting-mommy-blogger". i'm not a crafty mommy blogger. i'm lucky to get one project done a year. i'm sarcastic, i'm sappy, and i'm far from being able to crank out regular new, exciting, highly photographic recipes. it's not me. i found myself needing something to focus on the other 4 hours of the day i was juggling household duties & managing care of a newborn & 6 year old, and somehow, that became it.

that's when i started the downward spiral into the blackhole that has now become my blog. add into that i started back to school, and we have the current state of a once monthly update. i wrote a thing for my grandmother's funeral service in may, and i wanted to share it here in this space, but not before i talked about this feeling of losing my voice.

ya see, writing that little bit for her, it brought back all those memories of how much i loved to write, and share, even if no one was really reading. so anyways, you may see more of me around here, those of you that are still out there, anyways.

right now though, i just want to share pretty pictures & my approach to project life for 2014. i'm practically done with 2013. just 2 weeks left, & just pictures to print out at that. it's a dump & run situation at this point, i just can't manage the interest to be all crafty with the christmas pictures. get them in, get the story down, and move on.


last year, keeping up with a 12x12 album during school was tough. trying to get enough pictures, in the right orientation, and planning out the pages was a daunting task. i saw a lot of 6x8 albums circulating around, and while most of them were being compiled by people who were without kiddos, i was interested. 

i had my friend order me 3 studio calico handbooks (because we all know EVERYTHING studio calico eventually sells out, and i didn't want to end up half way through the year without matching albums) & started stock piling page protectors. 


two weeks ago i finally got the chance to start printing out january 2014 & playing. 
i was instantly in love. the size was much more manageable, i could have the whole thing on the table in front of me while i worked, and not feel cramped. 


not only that, but as someone who can't seem to move past the scrapping-to-match-my-pictures phase, it was much easier to pull together spreads with cards & embellishments. 


i'm in the habit of using title cards to pull out & feature words that rance says, or phrases on repeat around the house. it's a fun way to get in those details that i don't always have a picture to go along with. 


this year, i lost the white borders as well. don't get me wrong. i like the white borders, and will probably find myself going back to them. but i needed a break. prepping my pictures for each month takes a heck of a lot less time now, and i really needed that chunk of time back to be productive in getting the album compiled. in a book is better than on a hard drive. 


something else i noticed as i was pulling together the first half of january, is that i felt better about using up pockets for play's sake. the past few years i've held every pocket as an opportunity to tell a story within the week. if i used that pocket for decoration, i missed a chance to tell a story. now, i can just push a story to another spread, & still play. it's making scrapbooking playful for me again. 


i've given myself permission to drop a photo or two from the month, because really, leaving out a picture of the dude on top of a swing set is not like leaving out some integral part of his story. (and there are plenty of photos from him as a toddler up on the roof with papa that will serve as a better reminder he had no fear!) 



the other fun thing is that, so often i've left out personal details from MY life, because i wanted this to be 'OUR' story, but it's hard when i live in a house full of boys who are not necessarily interested in contributing.. and now, i'm putting them back in, because really, this is my story to, and this is me telling our story.. and i have unlimited monthly space, so why not?!


(these are the last photos i took of my grandmother. her birthday, january, before she passed in april)


so there you have it. 
6x8
no rules
just fun. 

& i''m loving it. 

xo-k



7.18.2014

currently// 7.18.14

loving// bamboo paper for iPad. i downloaded it a few days ago, picked up a stylus, and spent 4 hours last night (like 10-2am), and another 2 this morning (shh!), just doodling. it reminded me of the crayola color studio i had when i was about 11 or 12 that used to hook up to the tv & let you draw on it. i sat on that thing for hours.




(i think my friend nita was ready to stage an intervention this morning if i didn't stop doodling!)

& also the babe (who i guess really needs a new nickname, since he's almost 4) has been coloring up a storm. i picked him up one of those color wonder travel kits when we took a weekend road trip, and he's been coloring up a storm since. went through the first pack, had to pick up a second for the ride home.. he made me print out a ton of coloring pages monday, and then made his dad do the same tuesday. i love it, because the dude never really liked coloring...

loathing// cooking. i'm just so over it right now. i don't even want to think about food. i just want someone to fix a plate & put it in front of me. i'm bored with food for the most part...i guess?

drinking// water. not enough, but a lot. & yes. iced. freaking. coffee. i give up.

eating// about the only thing that looks appetizing these days is avocado. on my burger, in my chicken salad, on a sub, in a car, in a plane, on a train.. oh, wait.. that's green eggs & ham.... just generally eating it on everything that sounds like it would go well with it. and i want some salsa from this restaurant in town, latinos, so badly, i have half a mind to make the 20 minute drive just for a jar of it!

watching// investigation discovery!!! due to a rather sad & tired computer chair, and a requirement of many hours in front of the computer for school, i've been rotating my time between the bed (where there is a tv, and no kids) & the computer room (where there is no tv, and often 2 noisy kids). it's no secret i'm a big true crime tv junkie. i'm a die hard city confidential, & forensic files fan, and seek out reruns often.. well somehow i landed on investigation discovery & was hooked. it's all day everyday of csi type shows. warning: it will make you terrified to leave your house, question everyone you come into contact with, and make you worried that the most bizarre things could quite possibly be happening inside your very private next door neighbors house.

SO GOOD.... BUT YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

listening// i don't have anything i'm particularly attached to at the moment. except maybe this paramore song..


catching up on// project life.. i have 4, that's right FOUR more spreads until 2013 is finished & i can move onto 2014. so so so excited about this.





until next month..

xo-k

6.23.2014

currently// 6.23.14

a random list of things i'm currently crushing on: 

found here
this poster from emily mcdowell. i'm STILL in love with hand-lettering.. don't think that will pass anytime soon.. and this quote is something i so need right now. i often have to remind myself i'm in the middle of this design process, and not to be so damn hard on myself. making mistakes is part
of fine tuning your tastes, and knowing where your talent/strength/interest lies. 

found here
came across this set of stairs on pinterest from funky junk. oh my. this is so totally right up my alley. with yardsticks as risers.. i just have to convince the hubs that this is a good idea... i think that'll be harder than getting it done! 

here
above: the best chocolate chip cookies i have EVER made. below: death by chocolate cookies my friend Nita swears are the best cookie EVER (seriously, she couldn't stop talking about them for weeks) i made two batches of each of this cookies for the family gathering after my grandmother's service, and they lasted less than 24 hrs. all the other desserts were still hanging around when these guys were gone. if you make them, i PROMISE you will not be disappointed! 

here
found here
this bracelet from bourbon & boots. here's the thing.. i know some people don't consider anyone from florida to be 'raised in the south' (i.e., my husband) i was born in miami, and have lived in a sleepy little horse town since i was 7. i always considered myself from the south, and was proud of my southern roots, until i became an adult, and realized that more often than not, people from the south are classified as bible thumping intolerant individuals. that is the farthest from the truth in my case. i know that i live in a area where people fear change, and struggle to accept anything that may go against what they were taught in the bible, but i'm hoping that i can strike a balance between being proud of my southern heritage (which spans back to my great great great grandparents on my mom's side, and on 1/2 of my dad's side, back just as far) and being forward-thinking. 

Tina Aszmus @ Studio Calico
i'm so ready to jump into the smaller sized album for my project life style scrapbooking for 2014. i opted for the smaller size because last year the 12x12, weekly format just became to overwhelming with school.. even though the organized part of my brain loves that chronological "everything has it's place" approach, i needed something less 'strict', and smaller, so that i didn't get stuck when i had weeks with not nearly enough content. so i have  3 SC handbooks patiently waiting to be filled. i haven't printed a single picture for 2014, and i'm still buying. i am on school break next week, and i have vowed that i will finish up 2013, and start 2014 in the midst of mini-day trips with the kids! 

otherwise.. i'm currently obsessed with planning out my menu and attempting the whole 30. i'm scared, and excited and so so ready. i feel a little like i did when i cut gluten & started doing my best to eat clean... it's soooo much info to take in! 

oh, and there has been lots of drinking of this: 


until next month..

xo-k

5.19.2014

currently// why i am deleting facebook

so.. in lieu of my 'currents' list for may, i'm just going to explain why i'm deleting Facebook.

(borrowing & modifying from the campbell house)

reason #7: the game requests  all from family. i dearly love these people, but i want to strangle them over game requests. i mean seriously. i promise, if i played any of the crazy time sucking games people play on Facebook, i'd be annoying you will all the same requests and notifications you are sending me. daily. and sometimes hourly.



reason #6:  the comparison trap you know, someone posts that they went somewhere and did something, or someone did something for them, etc, and you find yourself comparing some aspect of your life. as someone who spends 98.9 % of my time at home, either cleaning or doing homework, i've found myself falling into the trap more and more frequently. i was aware of the sacrifices i'd have to make going into this deal, and i know it's all worth it in the end...but somehow watching everyone have more fun is just a big bummer. i don't expect everyone to stop posting, it's not their problem, it's mine. deleting Facebook prohibits me from throwing weekly pity parties that are just lame, and totally embarrassing.

reason #5: the false friendships this is one of the big ones for me. people 'friend' you on Facebook and then say NOTHING. are you stalking me? if you aren't going to talk to me, then why are you here? i always saw Facebook as a way to reconnect with people who maybe you lost touch with, but if your just gonna stare at my pictures, and then act like you don't know me when i see you in real life, expect to get deleted. and no, it wasn't an accident, so don't try to re-friend me.

reason #4: the martyrs  i'm a realist. i posted a picture of the dude on the first day of school & said my kids back to school picture is better than yours. i talked about my kid chowing down on money, and pooping it back out. life sucks sometimes, i get it. i try to deal with it through humor. i NEVER expect a sympathetic comment. i expect you to laugh at my misfortune, cause life is crazy, and i need you to laugh with me. with that said... the 'oh whoa is me' people SLAY me. the vague "i just can't deal with life, i can't believe this happened to me" posts, and then the "what's wrong" comments with replies of "inbox me".. i'm sorry.. you just blasted your issues, and NOW it's private. so you just wanted someone to ask. OF COURSE someone is going to ask, people are nosy and just wanna know your dirty laundry. if they really care, they'd be finding out some other way than Facebook. just saying. this is one of the biggest reasons i'm deleting. it's everywhere, and i'm way over it.


reason #3: the time suck so, remember when i said i'm at home with kids 98.9 % of the time? ya. so i get bored. i crave social interaction. i get on Facebook to kill time, and before i know it, i've jumped from one link to the next, and 3 hours are gone and i've got nothing to show for it but some random gossip, and useless information about why shailene woodley worldly possessions all fit in one suitcase. cause i really needed to know that one, right?

reason #2: the negativity i'm totally guilty of this one too. politics and religion are best left off Facebook. i read a study a few months into my classes about how many people unfriend people on Facebook because of posts related to one or the other. i wasn't shocked, people are passionate about what they believe in on Facebook, myself included. i got so worked up over people posting crap supporting that damn duck dynasty guy, talking about how a&e violated his first amendments rights, i almost deleted Facebook then & there. i never cared much if someone deleted me because i posted supporting marriage equality. i'm not afraid to speak up for what i believe in, but that means i have to accept that i will get upset by people on the other side of the fence doing the same. deleting Facebook means i lose a platform to share my thoughts, but i also don't have to bite my tongue and fume over things others post. it's worth it to me.

reason #1: the human connection everyone i interact with in real life will still be there. they are the ones i'm most concerned about staying in touch with. i have phone numbers, and can call or text. someone will have to pick up the phone to invite me to a birthday party or family function, but i'm looking forward to that. so much of our relationships have been delegated to technology, i've decided i'd rather hear about your trip from you, than read your status updates, or look at pictures where i have no idea what's going on.

so there ya have it. i'm not completely social media free.. i don't think i could live without instagram. it's just too darn pretty :) so you can find me there. my husband still has his Facebook account, but he is way less interested, and treats it more like an old email address he forgets to check more than once a month. i've made sure all family members are friends with him, so i can continue to update pictures to those family members who live far away.

i deleted Facebook from my phone two weeks ago, and haven't even been tempted to put it back on. i think that's a good sign.

here's to a Facebook free life. :)

xo-k

4.27.2014

spring break// 2014

i had high hopes for my spring break...

catching up on my project life
catch up on this season of vampire diaries & the originals
doing some diy projects around the house
getting pictures up on the walls (something i am absolutely horrible about doing)
and reading a book or two

so what did i actually get done?

well... i think i cooked dinner 3 nights this week. it was a great break from the scheduled 'norm' around here. i'm an average cook, and i don't at all enjoy doing it, so anytime i can NOT do it, is awesome in my book.

i didn't touch my project life. i did rearrange some supplies after getting my raskog cart in order. big excitement there :) i have three beautiful woodgrain chevron studio calico handbooks just staring in me in the face, but i couldn't get into it. i think it's the photos. i'm going with a non-weekly format, and just throwing photos in (i think, since i haven't started yet) in chronological order. i was aiming for low-maintenance, low-stress.. and so far.. there is no stress.. ha!

i didn't watch a single episode of vampire diaries or the originals. bummer. i did however watch don jon, and exorcisms, and a few other non-new, but definitely favorites, like love actually, ghostbusters, and a few more that i can't even remember right now. basically i spent monday & tuesday in bed.. not sick, just totally enjoying not having to DO anything. (i didn't even make my bed most of the week!)

i didn't do a single project around the house. i think i burnt myself out last week scrambling to get the house in order for easter, and after easter, i was done. i do have some that i'd like to tackle soon, and maybe i actually share those instead of long type filled posts in the future. it'd be a change of pace, right? (since there isn't even anyone out there anymore)

i did read two books. the mortal instruments 1 & 2. i'm sure i'll get flack for this.. but i think jace & clary are the new edward & bella. i love this storyline, i love the characters, i love the twists & turns, and triangles. maybe i just loved reading again since it's been so long.... but the book was different than the movie, and i was okay with both. i'm going to try and tackle #3 while juggling school work. wish me luck! :)

re-dyed my hair pink. i used this ion hair color in magenta in october. my hair was still the slightest shade of pink now in april. its a slow fade over time, but i think this brand will be my go to from now on. it doesn't rub off, or dye all your clothes after the initial dye. april has been a real, excuse me, shit month. between my grandmother passing, rance swallowing a coin, and general disasters around the house like the hubs truck getting hit by a neighbor, and the fence snapping in half and falling down (which means we can't let the dog out back by herself anymore).. i just needed some distraction and something to make me feel better. hair color seems harmful enough. the alternative was a new tattoo, but i don't have the money, and i haven't found a tattoo artist in the state of florida who does a fine art style, so that has to wait.

(all taken with my iPhone, and edited in pictapgo)







i've always had a terrible time defining my style and myself. i've felt on the border between so many types of dress, and personas. i like tattoos & piercings, i like the colored hair. i like graphic tees & converse, and smart mouths. i like metal & 80s hair bands. i'm not big into drinking, and i don't get to go to many concerts. my mom tries to help me dress, and while i love her, and her help, so often her style is not my own, and i end up with a mix of her style and my style (and all of that limited given my body style) and clothes that i don't feel like myself in. have you ever felt that way? i would be tattoo'd from head to toe, ok not really, were it not for my fear of future jobs. perfect example. there is a disney internship (which i live too far to partake in anyways) but the dress code is 'disney style' which apparently means 'wholesome un-tattoo'd american'.  i mean.... really? creative types are more inclined to push the boundaries of social acceptance sometimes... at least that's me.. 

but i'm rambling.. anyways...... 

xo-k

currently// 4.17.14

it's crazy how much life changes in 1 month. 4 weeks. 30 days.....

drinking// iced coffee. i've given up the attempt to cut it out again. it's the one non-water beverage a day i allow myself, so i'm just going to embrace it.

watching// i really wanted to read the book first, but the hubs convinced me to watch the movie 'the mortal instruments: city of bones' & now i can't get it out of my head. i'm hoping that next week while i'm on spring break i can sink into the first book in the series. you say teen lit? i say so what.

listening//i'm really obsessed with neon trees 'sleeping with a friend', and bastille's 'pompeii', as well as a great big world's 'say something' (the non-christina version)... although i've been listen to a lot of oldies.. think dirty dancing soundtrack, billie holiday, & my fair lady soundtrack. it's a weird mix i know.

reading// lots of information on marriage inequality. my class this month is not design based, but presentation. speaking. gah. i hate it... but our one big project is a persuasive speech called and ignite presentation. i choose to talk about how same sex couples shouldn't be fighting for their right to marry, they should already HAVE the right. i've long been an advocate, but the information is still interesting.

wanting// to get some house projects tackled. i've hit a mine of creative energy it seems, and i'm desperate to create something, anything... and house projects seem as good as any these days. maybe one day i'll stop buying project life stuff, and start using it again. i'm really sad about the state of my album this year (and lack of completion on 2013).

thinking// a lot about my Oma. she passed away unexpectedly april 6th, and while i have little regrets left with unsaid words (she was one of the recipients of my grateful heart letters last november), i'm sad because i didn't get more from her on her life. i bought her this book, but i have no idea if she finished it.. and i'm kicking myself for not going over there & helping her tackle it. i miss her so much everyday. i think about all the ways she filled me up, and changed my life. i think about all the ways she helped me see beyond my own circumstances, and recognize the plight in others. i have so many thoughts, so many words, some days are past hard and into unbearable. i hate death. i hate that our time is limited.

loving// the weather. i'm desperate for a hammock swing for the tree out front before the weather becomes unbearable. this is the florida i love. sunny & high 70s... i wish it would last all summer!

xo-k
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